Over and Out....

Car down the road uptown

feels hollow and full somehow.

I count my time and pray for another red light;

I feel like I’ve carried this home on my shoulders,

but I think it might be time for you to take over.

Yes, this place might’ve borne my childish heart,

but it’s you—you’ve been its heartbeat from the start.

It feels like you broke your ribs to create me;

I know Mom’s womb was just the start,

but who you were and are is who I strive to be.

This blood-hearted place,

it’s everything entwined in lace.

Its eyes see every hidden nook and crook of my life—

each victory I leapt, each failure I bore,

my birthdays gleamed, my grandpa’s loss,

the people I lost, the love I found,

the poison I drank, the holy water I found.

This place was my eyes for all these years;

I hated it, I lived in it, I loved it for all these years.

They say anything beautiful doesn’t last that long,

but promise me you will keep everything the same:

the way our room lights up,

the way you drink from your coffee cup,

the way your face glows in the night,

the way our parents fight,

the way you sleep with your eyes open,

our fabric woven—never let it be broken.

You always wondered how I knew what you felt;

it isn’t that I have lived with you for 18 years.

The answer’s in your fingers and eyes—

your eyes show me when you feel love and light,

your fingers show me when you feel depth and fight.

I don’t know how without you I would survive;

you were my shield,

and it pains me to say

not knowing when I will see you again,

when will I hold your arm again,

when will I hear your wicked tongue face to face?

But I really hope

your love for me doesn’t fade away,

for it is your love that I carry in my heart.

It might be mine by name,

but you carry it in your palms,

beating day by day.

In these depths of seconds,

my grip on your hand grows stronger.

Why can’t this be any longer?

My entire uptown life in suitcases two—

don’t you worry about the guys who blew.

It hurts not being able to see you grow;

my salt-filled eyes never seem to flow.

But in front of you, my heart groans.

I can’t lose you too,

but I know it’s time for me to go,

to start anew.

I need to let go of all the past lies and rues,

but you, please don’t give way to change.

I am afraid when we meet again

there will be habits of yours that I won’t know.

You and I made each other grow;

but the growth that occurs now will remain unknown.

You are my sun, you are my light,

you are my will, you are why I survived.

I drowned so many times;

you brought me back to life each time.

You carried my weight on your back.

I don’t want this to be our last.

I know you’re not one for lengthy prose,

so I’ll keep this short, where love softly grows.

I’ll miss you, Di, and the messes you made;

it’s not just the void where our memories fade.

You say so much when silence is near;

your eyes trace the ceiling, thoughts unclear.

I love you, my beloved sister.

I wish to hold your hand forever, you see,

but for the time being,

just shut up and dance with me...

Until next time, Over and Out...